B-ing Mommy

Today I took the boys to church and it wasn't easy. Joshua wan't a happy camper at all. Screaming and yelling the entire way...did I leave him in childrens church..ABSOLUTLY..When I picked him up after service he was a changed kid ( for the moment of course) he was so happy with his handful of projects he'd made during service. Its those little moments that make me so proud to be a mommy. Just tiny seconds that they make you smile and forget what bad thing they've just done.Or after a crazy day when they're sleeping and all else is complety silent, the sleeping child makes my heart tingle with warmth.It makes me want to wake them up and kiss them. Then I remember the clean-up downstairs that still waits for me compliments of my boys .My soon to be ten year old wants a cell phone for his birthday. I remember when he was the one kicking and screaming on the floor and now he wants a cell. I guess it's a good to see time go by when u have the ones you love most by your side. Theres pressure at times because I'm responsible for the type of men they become. Setting a decent example is starting to be more of a conscouise effort. Not only is the 10 yr old watching me CLOSELY now he's got questions.You gotta love him and I do with all that I am. Have a great week and be better today then u were yesterday.

FORWARD

To move forward you have to let go and forgive. Things that have happened in the past shouldn't guide or determine your future. Rather you should follow the path laid before you by God. i;m learning that road isn't all that easy but I'm positive its the road thats best for me. I'm learning to trust people again, you cant let one person change your heart off of some craziness. I'm blessed and highly favored.Who wouldn't want my life..lol

Believing

I've been told that healing depends on your faith..Today I witnessed first hand the power of prayer and the deliverance that comes along with it and believe me when I tell u it took my breath away.Something that I've struggled with for more than a year was taking away by the power of prayer. If you don't believe God for a miracle why would you expect one. I know that God wants to hear all of my issues and every detail, I think I'm learning how to seek Gods face with all that I do and continually praise his name. I love God and today was the first day in a long time that I actually said those words out of my mouth.Even through the hurt I knew that only God could bring me thru the storm that I'd got comfortable in..I confessed all my feelings and God answered me..Today I felt the power of his grace and forgiveness.Believing is a wonderful place to be.

Real Love

It's times like these that I wonder about real love and where does it actually live. i know things aren't like the movies but I'm sure it gets better than this. My heart is conflicted and it's really making me dizzy.

Happiness

How do you separate your happiness from that of your family's? After awhile I think it just all blends in together. At times a girl can begin to feel selfish because if shes not happy& she can't be of much help to her family.