ME

I'm the oldest of my brothers and sister and the relationship I have with my family now seems strained and it hurts. Not just a little but sometimes I dont feel whole. Maybe its becasue I grew up in a very close nit family. I used to talk to my mother almost 3-4 times a day and now its close to never. When the fall out took place the reasoningn seemed justified and well desrved but now not so much. I hear people say, "Oh tomorrows not promised to anybody". But I feel so far away I feel like I cant go back and I know that couldnt be farther form tjhe truth but thats just how I feel in my heart of hearts..Time heals all wounds but how do you forgive and move forward. I heard Juanita Bynum on the radio yesterday and she was talkinf about all the things shes been thru and how God has continued to cover and bless her. She said that she went on a fast from the past. all the negativity and hurtful things of the past she fasted from. That literally took my breath away I'm thingking like if only I coyld do that maybe I wouldnt been so scared. I went to church today and the bishop said your are what u call yourself and if thats true that maybe another part of my growing concern. I'm a loving person I'd like to think but I feel like people have taken my kindness and truth for total granted and it hurts. I'm a motivator...but I cant motivated myself.........I'm a lover...but I struggle with loving myself enough..it's more than just thinking your cute....I speak truth..but I struggle with hearing it about myself...I'm a mother.....but I'm not really talking to my mother.......I'm a leader....but I struggle with allowing my husband to take the lead in our marriage..I'm a hope-giver..but when I need it I feel lost in which direction to go....Just for starters..its not that I don't know where my problems lye its just a matter of where in this mess shall I begin...My way doesn't seem to be working I'm gonna try GOD.

He stands on truth

MY PRINCE

&

RIDE OR DIE KID

Priceless

I wish my grandmother could've lived long enough to see an African American man elected as the president of the United States. I've never been ashamed of my race but there was a since of inferiority that I didn't realized existed until I heard the words Barack Obama is our 44th president of the United States. This is the same country that enslaved us and over time convinced people like myself that they were better than us. On nov 4th that whole idea of whites being better went right out the window. I now feel a since of pride. Our victory is that of champions. We had to fight for just about everything (the right to an education, the right to vote, the right to eat where the white people ate, the right to sit wherever we wanted on the bus).We are conquerors we were brought here as slaves and now we hold the highest office in the US. Now my boys see that you can be whatever you want and that there are no limits to how far you can go in this life. I've never been more excited in my life because my family got a chance to be part of history.

MY BABY BOY